Some Joke

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date. ********** Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so. ********** Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. ********** Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ********** Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ********** Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. ********** A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" ********** Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card. " Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ********** Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? " Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her? " Millionaire: " Billionaire" ********** Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: Thanks for the warning ********** A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor".